He has no sense of self, life experience, or awareness of his surroundings.
I went into Younger Son's room to check, thinking he had forgotten how to breathe again, and saw Older Son hitting him and screaming "You're why I don't have a mother! You're why I don't have a father! You're why I can't have friends over! You're why I can't be in sports! I didn't ask for you and I hope you die!" My older son can't do a lot of things he wants to do because of the youngers need for care and appointments. I was starting law school, I gave up my dreams and my plan for my children for this potato. We do have a visiting home nurse but only 20 hrs/week and we aren't eligible for more. He's had medical care get delayed because there's only one of me and hos brother is more critical. Our older son has suffered because his non existent brother has colored everything in his life. Respiratory crises, fecal impactions (his autonomic nervous system doesn't function properly), issues with his G tube, infections, pressure sores no matter WHAT we put him on or how we position him. In addition to his extreme delays he's also medically fragile. He doesn't have any personality, there is nothing to love. takes up 200% of my time and does NOTHING. I'm not upset because I got a special needs/"imperfect" child. He has never made an attempt to interact with anyone or his environment. He makes no sounds, no attempts to communicate. His eyes are locked in one position, he doesn't respond to noise, touch, or pain. He doesn't appear to have any awareness and never has. His disorder is kind of rare so I won't post which specific one but suffice to say he'll never be anything more than he is now or has ever been. It turned out he has a chromosome deletion. We were told when I was pregnant that he would have Downs Syndrome. I fully believe he killed himself because of our younger son and no one will ever change my mind. I can't see him EVER making the mistake he made that caused his death, and he had taken an action just before that which ensured his co-workers weren't in the room. A very large portion of me believe it was a suicide. My husband passed away 3 years ago in a work accident. I only ask what you would do if you were in my situation. Lambast me if you wanr and maybe I even deserve it. I can't tell anyone this, even my therapist.